PODCAST: Big Feelings in Little Ones: Social and Emotional Development in the Early Years

What can we do to support children in developing healthy social and emotional skills? (And do the kids agree?)

That’s the big question for this podcast episode of Where You Are, created by the Kelty Mental Health Center. Joelle, a mom of a five-year-old, and some kids joined me with Bryn Askwith and Michelle Horn from Kelty to unpack what’s happening socially and emotionally in our littlest kiddos.

Social and emotional development. I don't love this term. It sounds like A LOT. And being a parent I know there's already a long list of things we're supposed to be doing for our kids, and I’d hate to add to that!

But what it describes is actually very ordinary…. and most kids are already growing these skills by just being kids. It's having big feelings, starting to understand what you're feeling and why, being able to calm yourself down when you need to, and noticing that others have feelings too, and being kind to people, even when they're very different from you. That’s it.

And parents and educators are probably already doing lots that nurture these skills- I see it everywhere!

I hope that this conversation helps to take some pressure off, validate things we do to care for our kids, and is a gentle reminder that our own social and emotional wellbeing matters too.

Listen to Where You Are, Season 3, Episode 3: https://keltymentalhealth.ca/podcast/sed-early-years

If you have a few minutes, I'd love for you to listen to the full episode. Joelle shares how she handles meltdowns, and the kids in the episode have some pretty great strategies to share about their big feelings.

Some key takeaways:

• Just being there, helps. We asked kids what they love doing with their parents. Games in the driveway. Cuddles. None of it was fancy. Research shows that these moments are like deposits in the bank. They fill kids' buckets and help them cope with difficultires that come their way.
  

• Some brain science: When a child is overwhelmed, the thinking part of their brain is hijacked, and not available for learning or even listening. Adults can step in to co-regulate by doing simple things that bring connection and a sense of safety- being there, using tone or touch, offering words that make sense for how they are feeling. Actions that work with how the brain is designed, to bring calm back.
  

• Your calm matters too. Stress and exhaustion affect the part of the brain we use to manage our reactions. No shade, we're just wired that way. Taking a break, getting some sleep, and being kind to yourself is part of the work.
  

• You know your kid best. All kiddos are different and there isn't one right way to do this. You know what works best for your kid and you. Try something, see what happens, and trust what you feel.